Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Sometimes, I think that everything that I was brought up to believe and rely upon, does not truly exist..

I have great parents, who brought me up believing in certain standards. Out of love, they have raised me to believe that there are things that really matter: Love, Kindness, Fait, Confidence, and many many more. But maybe at the time they taught me all this, they were too optimistic, and hoped that the world would be a better place, by the time I was old enough to understand these concepts. Better than their own time, I suppose.

Yet, maybe it isn't much better, or much worse, for that matter. The world is just the way it is: Complex and challenging.

I was reading a book the other day, which suggested that if you have trouble accepting your beliefs on a concious level, then maybe you can try changing them. The book offers exercises, and affirmation methods to help those who want to change their beliefs do so. I tried, but maybe I didn't try hard enough. Or maybe these beliefs were just what they were: Beliefs.

This doesn't mean that beliefs never change either. There was a time that I truly believed my dolls were real, that they had lives of their own at night when I'm asleep. Oh, and there was the time when I used to talk to plates, spoons and mugs, giving them names and chatting to them, while carefully putting them back into place when my mom assigned me chores.

So, looking back at what I used to believe in so strongly, and at where I am now, I 'believe' that beliefs change sometimes. But it's not only through books, mantras or even visualization. I think it's what actually happens in our lives, who we meet, pleasant and unpleasant surprises of life, and as always, by observing the actions of those we idolize in our lives.

It's a bit exciting not to know what I would believe I'm capable of doing in a few years' time. Sometimes, it worries me. Sometimes, when I'm faced with situations that I was raised to believe will end up with certain results, and I end up with completely different results than I expected, it can be a bit frustrating. But sometimes, I want to believe that this different result is another experience. And that one day, these experiences will all pile up and voila! A new belief will be born!

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