Sunday, February 28, 2010

Loving Me..


I was on my weekly long drive between my two 'homes' yesterday, when at a certain moment, and for some reason that I can't put my finger on, I decided that I am tired of being depressed..


It was like pulling myself together, giving ME a good shake, and telling myself to quit quitting!


A very good friend of mine always tells me: We are survivors.. On my courageous moments, I cheer in agreement, and in other weaker ones, I just smile when I really feel like screaming..


But we are.. We are survivors, of course we are..


I think that I sometimes am too harsh on myself.. So I make mistakes, who doesn't? So I have silly little habits that I long to get rid of to achieve my version of perfection, but what is perfection, anyway? What's perfect for me might mean nothing to someone else..


I have the right to make mistakes.. And the minute I stop making them, I will realize that I have stopped trying.. I have stopped living..


I love me.. I want to take care of me.. And I want to accept, without the drama and the tears and the shock, that there is no body at all, who would do a better job at taking care of myself than I would..


It would help, I think, if I can stop briefly, and define my standards, my own set of beliefs.. What's right for me? What's not? What would make me happy? And once I come up with that, once I have my own Book of Rules to follow, I would think it would be easier to take it from there..


But what's important today is that I am alive, and that I am proud of who I am.. And that I believe, and Oh how great that belief feels, that I love myself, and that I just might be able to take care of myself after all..


3 comments:

  1. i liked the post Salma, women are survivors and fighters it's a natural instinct.
    and where there is a will there is a way

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  2. Well, this post of yours made me content in a way and infected with whatever came on to you during your road trip..

    Yes, we should be proud of who we are and we should always remeber that we are not perfect , we are just Humans after all, and we are definately allowed to fall, to have a blurry vision sometimes, and ofcourse we are allowed to be down for some time..because eventually we will come to realize that enough, it is happy time again...

    Enjoy the high rise moment :)

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