Monday, June 14, 2010

Regrets


I wish I can say I have no regrets but I do.. Mostly, things I regret involve hurting people I love.. Be it intentional or not, I have done a lot of things that have hurt them and made them unhappy.. And every time I think about it, I get an overwhelming feeling of sadness, mixed with shame.


Sometimes, it isn't easy to speak about it or apologize about it after so many years have passed.. By time, we build this fictional fence around the stories we want to forget, and we build it up to get higher and higer every day, until it is so high that we can't see what it was built around anymore..


Sadly, it's just a fence.. It doesn't make these stories disappear, it merely hides them from our obvious sight.. However, every once in a while, this fence gets cracked, and through these cracks you see what you longed to hide. You remember what you longed to forget, and surprisingly, the pain is still fresh, still piercing..


I don't want to stir the old stories from their graves.. I want to tell you, all of you I love and have hurt, that I am sincerely sorry, even if I had hurt you without intending to do so.. I have no excuses having done that.. And I have paid for it, in a way..


After all, that is what REGRET is all about..

3 comments:

  1. Dear Salma...
    ..your way of putting down feelings in writing is very unique. When I first came across your blog by accident jest because we have the same name..only I am Salma Abas n you are Salma Adas..

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  2. it's awesome..it's actually the way i feel and experience situations a lot similar. Although i could never spurt out the UNSAID

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  3. its simply incredible. It makes me feel that I am just fighting a long lost war.....

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